DAVE RAMSEY

Dave says: How to navigate tough times with love and understanding

Mar 19, 2024, 1:00 PM

In this week's article, Dave talks about how to tackle a difficult family situation while not getti...

In this week's article, Dave talks about how to tackle a difficult family situation while not getting on anyone's bad side. (Pexels Photo)

(Pexels Photo)

Dear Dave,

I’m worried about my younger brother, and I need some advice. He’s divorced and has a son, and lately, it seems like he only wants to be a dad when it’s convenient. On top of this, he’s very irresponsible with money for someone in their thirties. Our mom and dad passed away several years ago, so I feel like this leaves me to be the big brother and parent at the same time. I’m not sure how to help him. Can you give me some advice, please?

Andy


Dear Andy,

You’re a good and caring big brother to be concerned and want to help. And it’s a tough situation for you, especially with your parents no longer in the picture.

When I help people on my show, I have the benefit of them calling in and actually wanting help. These folks care about what I think, and in most cases, they realize things aren’t working for them. I don’t just walk up to people and say, “You know, what you’re doing is really stupid. Let me fix you.” I think that’s kind of the situation you’re in right now. So, before anything else, I’d begin to pray for him. Ask God to bring people into his life who will have a positive impact on him.

One of the worst things about these situations is watching people you love do bad things to themselves and the people around them. Honestly, I don’t know there’s really a lot you can do without becoming the enemy to some degree. You can always try to hold him to a higher standard, and refuse to tolerate immature, irresponsible behavior when you’re around him. You might even look for opportunities to use yourself as an example. I’m not talking about puffing out your chest and pretending to be perfect. I’m just saying maybe point out areas in your life where you made mistakes in the past and how you fixed the problems. But going out and trying to actively intervene in his life without permission, or shaming him in hopes it’ll make him grow up and be a man, would probably do more harm than good.

Approach him in a gentle, caring way. Again, not like some know-it-all, but just let him know you care and you’re there to help if he’s having difficulties. Take him out to lunch once in a while, or invite him over, and let him know you’re there for him if he needs to talk.

And remember what I said earlier about prayer? Bringing God into the equation is never a bad idea.

—Dave

ENDORSEMENTS

Dave Ramsey

A hand holding a pen writes "testament my last wish" on paper next to a stack of $100 bills in a ph...

Dave Ramsey

Dave Ramsey says: Things can get ugly between family members over inheritance

Dave Ramsey hates when things get ugly between family members at a time when everyone should be pulling together.

18 days ago

(Pexels Photo)...

Dave Ramsey

Dave says: Marriage is not a me proposition, it should always be a we thing

Marriage is not a me proposition. It should always be a we thing when it comes to fun money or discretionary income.

24 days ago

Business principles challenged by customer? What to do...

Dave Ramsey

Dave Ramsay says: Don’t change your business principles on a customer’s whim

A small business owner asks Dave Ramsay what to do when your business principles say not to accept credit cards but customers push back.

27 days ago

(Pexels Photo)...

Dave Ramsey

Dave says: Tell sister no to borrowing money for own sake

Even if it’s family, saying no and telling them it’s time to straighten up and start acting right could be the right money decision.

1 month ago

A landlord discovered his tenant had been using the property as a short-term rental. (Pexels photo)...

Dave Ramsey

Dave Ramsey says: Get identity theft protection and make your tenants stick to their agreements

Financial expert Dave Ramsey answers two financial questions from listeners. One wonders about Ramsey's opinion on identity theft protection.

1 month ago

...

KTAR Video

Video: Dave Ramsey financial tips heard on KTAR News 92.3

Hey Arizona, we’re all feeling it. We’re paying more for everything. We want to help you live a happy and debt free life. Join us on KTAR News weekdays from 12-2 p.m. for The Ramsey Show. For the latest breaking news, tune to KTAR News 92.3 FM or the KTAR News app.

1 month ago

Sponsored Articles

...

Collins Comfort Masters

Here’s how to be worry-free when your A/C goes out in the middle of summer

PHOENIX -- As Arizona approaches another hot summer, Phoenix residents are likely to spend more time indoors.

...

COLLINS COMFORT MASTERS

Here are 5 things Arizona residents need to know about their HVAC system

It's warming back up in the Valley, which means it's time to think about your air conditioning system's preparedness for summer.

...

Midwestern University

Midwestern University Clinics: transforming health care in the valley

Midwestern University, long a fixture of comprehensive health care education in the West Valley, is also a recognized leader in community health care.

Dave says: How to navigate tough times with love and understanding