Well, well, well. Look who has arrived in a big way.
Cleveland, Ohio. The Mistake by the Lake.
The Republican Party has announced it will be holding its national convention in Ohio in 2016.
Johnny Football was drafted by the Browns and has single-handedly gotten more headlines for the sorry team in the last couple months than the team has had in a decade.
Now, word is that the Cavaliers have cleared enough cap room to sign LeBron “King” James.
Would that not be the best Cleveland headline of them all? Many insiders say it’s actually possible, that LeBron is more interested in salvaging his reputation and solidifying his legacy than anything else.
Will this finally overcome the negative stereotypes triggered by Dennis Kucinich, the burning Cuyahoga River, and Ariel Castro? And let’s not forget the lowly Cleveland Browns.
Look, I did 18 years of hard labor in Cleveland before I left for college. I only went back for a summer before I was SURE I didn’t want to live there. I know all the knocks Cleveland usually gets, and a lot of them are just plain factual.
First, the weather is mostly awful. Unbearably cold in the winter and mostly hot and muggy in the summer. But isn’t that MOST of the Midwest?
The city was built on the Cuyahoga River because it was easy to ship iron ore out through the Great Lakes. That kind of industry doesn’t make for very pretty surroundings.
But aside from that, Cleveland is really beautiful. I recommend visiting on those two very pretty days in the fall when the air is crisp and the leaves are changing.
The Rock Hall of Fame is there, don’t forget. The Cleveland Clinic too, and some of the best museums and cultural attractions around.
Cleveland is very ethnically diverse, which makes for great food festivals and people watching.
And when it comes to people, there is no one nicer. Indians Manager Terry Francona said after a game — win or lose — the fans and police officers can’t stop talking to him. He said it’s like no where else he has ever played or managed.
And the Republicans are holding their party there because they know how important the Ohio vote is. As Ohio goes, so goes the nation.
Cleveland rising? Indeed. Now, all this kingdom needs is a King.