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Maybe ASU will never be happy with Sparky

You must have heard by now that the Arizona State University campus is in an uproar about being named, once again, as one of America’s great party schools? About brazen nudity being photographed on campus? About tutition rates and the debate over non-citizens attending classes?

No! I’m talking about serious matters.

Dr. Michael Crow, the university president, has arranged for a senior administrator to meet with students to head off the crisis of…the new Sparky mascot.

I always thought the first Sparky was cute, but more suited to be a regular on SpongeBob SquarePants, not exactly a symbol that will strike terror in the hearts of an opponent.

Now critics are saying the mascot is too scary, too creepy, too menacing. That was the whole purpose.

Taking that logic a step further, perhaps that frightening Phoenix Suns Gorilla should be traded in on a cuddly spider monkey, but even then only if management will guarantee spaying and neutering.

I’m Pat McMahon.