Being cautious of coronavirus could cook us this Labor Day
Labor Day weekend is (at least in other parts of the country) a time when a lot of people get together and barbecue.
While I think it’s usually still too hot here at this time of the year to spend a lot around a grill, I submit to you that whether you are using a grill or not, we will all be barbecuing this weekend.
Or, should I say, we will all get barbecued this weekend.
Cuz it’s not going to just be hot — it will be a scorching, roasting, searing, torrid, pick-your-favorite-hot-adjective kinda hot.
I said the other day that Labor Day weekend will be like one of those giant, red, emoji exclamation points on the end of the hottest summer in Phoenix history — because it’s likely going to be the hottest Labor Day weekend in Phoenix history.
And hot statewide. So hot that as I head up north to see my dad, I won’t even be able to laugh at all the poor schlubs stuck here — because it’ll be 104° in Page this weekend.
However, even though there won’t be an actual cloud in our sweltering sky, there may be a silver lining to our blistering forecast: the heat might keep us from doing what we did back on Memorial Day weekend: tons of people packed tight, spreading coronavirus.
Dr. Shad Marvarsti with the University of Arizona College of Medicine told KTAR News 92.3 FM that we should approach this three-day holiday weekend with a little less gusto than the last one.
He’s not saying we shouldn’t be having barbecues but he says we should be physically distancing — and wearing masks.
So let me get this straight: unless I’m attending a barbecue under a dome, I’ll have to make a reservation for a shade spot in order to physically distance. And when I’m not actually in the act of sticking a rib in my mouth, I should keep a mask on so I can make the 113° air I’m breathing even hotter.
And did I say a mask?! I’ll need about 25 so I can change ’em out every time I get barbecue sauce on one.
Once I factor in all the hydrating I’ll need to be doing so I don’t die from the heat, I’ve calculated that I will be able to wear my mask about 3.5% of the time.
I think I’ll take a hard pass on a barbecue this weekend because it doesn’t sound very fun. But I will mainly be doing so because I don’t want the heat to turn me into the main course.