Social media plus post-2010 tech equals troubled teens

As we roll out our KTAR News series, “Youth on Edge,” some people may point to the consumption of inappropriate media as one of the reasons our kids are suffering psychologically — so it may seem weird that I let my daughters watch something this weekend that I would normally never let them watch: “Real Time with Bill Maher.”

My wife and I had our 11- and even our 8-year-old watch an interview that Maher did with social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, author of the new book, “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.”

Haidt’s research shows some scary things.

Starting in the 2010s, college campuses started seeing a marked increase in depression and anxiety among undergraduates. According to the American College Health Association, between 2010 and 2018, depression among undergraduates increased by 106% and anxiety increased by 134%.

Between 2010 and 2021, there was an approximate 150% increase of US teens who experienced a major depression within the last year — with the latest measurement of that stat showing that almost 30% of girls feel that way.

What’s behind this? Haidt believes smartphones and social media were the culmination of a trend that started decades ago.

We went from a society where kids played outside and roamed neighborhoods, to a world in the ‘80s and ‘90s — where 24-hour cable news stories of child abductions convinced parents that the real world is too scary to let kids out into — and we entered the era of playdates and helicopter parenting.

Then came the Internet and cellphones which wasn’t all bad — when the Internet and phones were separate (when we all used flip phones — not just grandpa). That was a world where teens talked on their phone to set up a time to hang out in person.

Now we are living in a society where the real world’s been replaced by a virtual world and the world of social media, which is a world full of lies about how everybody else is better looking and living a better life than our kids.

Which makes our post-2010 real world truly scary — with its sharply rising rates of anxiety, depression and suicide.

Haidt has some suggestions:

1. Giving our children a lot more time playing with other kids — with little-to-no adult supervision.
2. Look for more ways to embed children in stable real-world communities.  Our girls are involved in theater, gymnastics and team sports — you may choose something like scouting — but whatever it is, it will always be way better than anything online.
3. Don’t give your kid a smartphone until high school. 
4. Delay letting kids open accounts on most social media platforms until — at least — the beginning of high school. 

Easier to do if other parents get on board — and easier still if our legislature gets on-board and creates a sort-of “age of internet adulthood.” What was just passed in Florida sounds good: That new law prohibits children younger than 14 from creating a social media account in the state. 14- and 15-year-olds need a parent’s consent before they join a social media platform.

Personally, I’d pick something closer to 16 as the verified-age when kids can get a social media account — and that still may be too early when you consider how far past 16 I am — and how bad social media can be for me sometimes. 

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