Dave Ramsey says: Woman not obligated to help pay for funeral

A woman who has been estranged from her late father for years is weighing whether to help pay for his funeral. Dave Ramsey says if she can afford it, go ahead, but she shouldn't feel obligated.

BY DAVE RAMSEY

Jun 26, 2018, 11:30 AM

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Dear Dave,

My father died recently. He walked out of my life 25 years ago when I was a teenager, and he never wanted anything to do with me after that.

His brothers, who have already paid for some of his final expenses, asked if I wanted to pay to have his body cremated.

They didn’t ask for money, they just offered it as a chance to be part of things. I’m in good shape financially, and I could easily afford the cost.

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Morally, I wonder if I have a responsibility to help with things.

Do you feel I’m obligated in any way?

— Julie

Dear Julie,

I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sorry, too, about what happened with your father. I can’t imagine the mixed emotions you must have in your heart.

When someone asks me a question like this, I try to put myself in their shoes.

Under the circumstances, I don’t think you have any obligation whatsoever — morally or legally — to help pay for anything.

If you want to help, and you can afford to do so, then follow your heart. At the same time, I don’t think you should lose one wink of sleep over this if you decide not to contribute.

Twenty-five years is long, long time. I don’t know your dad, and I have no clue about his situation or state of mind back then and in the time since. I can’t imagine doing that to a child of any age, though.

Do what you feel in your heart is best. But in my opinion, there’s no obligation here. God bless you, Julie.

— Dave