Fathers can learn to be better fathers by opening up to each other more

Research has shown that the more a father is involved in their child's life, the more beneficial it is to the child and one Valley non-profit organization is working to help fathers be fathers.

BY CORBIN CARSON

Apr 4, 2016, 5:00 AM Updated: 9:01 am

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Research has shown that the more a father is involved in their child’s life, the more beneficial it is to the child and one Valley non-profit organization is working to help fathers be fathers.

Father Matters is a mentorship program for fathers based out of Phoenix. The organization’s founder, Vance Simms, said fathers would benefit from opening up with each other more.

“The average man has less than three friends in their lifetime,” he said. “And I’m not talking about guys who will come over on Monday night and drink up all your beer and watch the game and go home.”

Simms said men need to create the type of friendships that will “do life” with them and hold them accountable, but also someone who they can “unzip” their heart with and unleash all their emotions.

“The majority of grown men are still dealing with little boy issues,” he said. “And a lot of us are carrying hurt from things that happened to us as little boys.”

Men tend to hesitate before opening up about their feelings the way that women do with each other, he said.

“If I met (a man) for the first time, we would shake hands and say, ‘What do you do?’” Simms said. “When my wife meets other women for the first time, she wants to know, ‘Are you married,’ ‘How many children do you have?’”

Men are not accustomed to asking life questions in that manner, he said.

“We like to buy things that we can’t afford to impress people that we don’t know or like,” he said. “What we do at Fathers Mentoring Fathers, is we break through all that.”

Simms said fathers can benefit by setting up times to get together with a friend or an accountability partner.

“Have a cup of coffee and a slice of pie…and talk about life,” he said. “Talk about frustrations, talk about the good things, talk about our fears.”