Need an ark to weather the floodwaters? Find it on Craigslist

Record downpours swamped metro Phoenix last night, flooding entire neighborhoods, shutting down freeways, washing away cars and damaging businesses and homes Valleywide.

Schools were closed from the storm, cities offered free sand for sandbagging, a grocery store saw its ceiling collapse, the Arizona House didn’t convene — the whole thing was wild.

Fortunately, we’re not expecting 40 days and 40 nights of this stuff.

Or are you?

If you are, we found just the thing for you — an ark!

Considering it could be responsible for saving all living species, the massive wooden boat is listed for a modest $1,500 on Craigslist. Certainly, building one of these things Noah-style would cost a lot more than $1,500 in labor.

Per the listing:

Do you ever wish you had the “right” vehicle for all this flooding in Phoenix? Well you’re in luck! For not much more than the average hooptie, you can have this fine piece of boating equipment… I found it on the top of a mountain a couple years ago… somebody may have just tried to dump their trash in the desert again.. anyway I got it home and cleaned out the unusual amount of fecal matter.. this thing is in mint condition and all high tide miles.

The seller says the ark was used just for pleasure and says its boatfax mentions it was involved in a “great flood” despite lacking flood damage.

And, regarding the listing price, the seller writes: “pretty firm on price but may take trades for: mail order brides, yard work, any chevy, a woman who says I’m right, belly button lint, iou’s accepted.”

There’s no mention of whether or not two of each animal species is included. The 500-foot by 100-foot by 80-foot ark is supposedly on top of Camelback Mountain currently.

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