My youngest is turning 8 years old, which makes me feel old.
So are we having a birthday party? Nope. We are smack dab in the middle of the NFL playoffs!
Yes, football is MORE important. There. I said it.
Now let me explain what I mean.
There is NOTHING worse than one of the kids bringing home a birthday invitation for a party on a Sunday during football season!
I would NEVER subject the other parents to the torture of attending an obligatory kid’s birthday party, forcing them to miss out on their birthright as an American!
Look, if this unwanted piece of mail comes home with your kid, I say you have the right to call the hosts and ask if there will be:
- Football (multiple games on multiple TVs)
- Nachos. There needs to be nachos.
If the hosts answer no to any of these questions, consider yourself excused from attending. Pop a gift card in the mail and wish the kid luck in life. The kid’s going to need luck because his parents are lame.
And let’s face it: You didn’t like his parents anyway.
- Phoenix Suns have finally rid themselves of the cancer that was Markieff Morris
- Gun owners must properly secure their weapons at all times to prevent tragedies
- Jersey’s in the mail: Gov. Ducey, dog will pay off bet with Carolina governor soon
- Parents: Do not feel bad about participating in your child’s extracurricular activities
- Snowstorm pushing Arizona Cardinals fans’ planning creativity