DAVE RAMSEY

Dave says: Tell sister no to borrowing money for own sake

Jun 18, 2024, 4:03 PM

(Pexels Photo)...

(Pexels Photo)

(Pexels Photo)

Dear Dave,

I’m currently on Baby Step 2 of your plan, and I’m six months away from being debt-free, except for my home. Recently, I’ve run into an issue with my sister, who has a good job, but continually makes poor choices with money. Over the last six months, she has also asked to borrow money from me and others in our family several times, including again yesterday. I don’t want to be cruel, but the whole issue has gotten out of hand. How do you think I should approach her about this?

James


Dear James,

Handling issues like this can be complicated, especially when family or friends are involved. But honestly, I think you should just tell your sister the truth. Keep it simple. Let her know you’re trying to get out of debt and change the way you handle your finances, so you don’t have extra money sitting around. Explain to her, too, that part of this is you’re not playing around with debt anymore, and this means you won’t be loaning or borrowing money again.

Make sure you do this with a kind spirit, James. Most people in your sister’s position already know deep down that they’re making bad decisions. So, it’s important that you talk to her in a gentle, caring way. See if you can get her to talk about what’s really going on with her money. You could even let her know you might consider giving her some money as a gift if you had any extra lying around—and you knew she was in control financially. But you’re not really helping someone who’s financially incompetent, or just plain immature, when you give them cash or even loan them money.

You’re not helping someone if you participate in their misbehavior with them, so you’ve got to look at the big picture in situations like this. Your sister hasn’t just hit a hard time, with lots of unexpected expenses or a job loss. Right now, her behavior with money isn’t just a bump in the road, it’s a lifestyle.

Sometimes you have to love someone enough to sit them down, and tell them the truth. Even if it’s family, that can also mean saying no and telling them it’s time to straighten up and start acting right.

—Dave

ENDORSEMENTS

Dave Ramsey

A hand holding a pen writes "testament my last wish" on paper next to a stack of $100 bills in a ph...

Dave Ramsey

Dave Ramsey says: Things can get ugly between family members over inheritance

Dave Ramsey hates when things get ugly between family members at a time when everyone should be pulling together.

16 days ago

(Pexels Photo)...

Dave Ramsey

Dave says: Marriage is not a me proposition, it should always be a we thing

Marriage is not a me proposition. It should always be a we thing when it comes to fun money or discretionary income.

23 days ago

Business principles challenged by customer? What to do...

Dave Ramsey

Dave Ramsay says: Don’t change your business principles on a customer’s whim

A small business owner asks Dave Ramsay what to do when your business principles say not to accept credit cards but customers push back.

25 days ago

A landlord discovered his tenant had been using the property as a short-term rental. (Pexels photo)...

Dave Ramsey

Dave Ramsey says: Get identity theft protection and make your tenants stick to their agreements

Financial expert Dave Ramsey answers two financial questions from listeners. One wonders about Ramsey's opinion on identity theft protection.

1 month ago

...

KTAR Video

Video: Dave Ramsey financial tips heard on KTAR News 92.3

Hey Arizona, we’re all feeling it. We’re paying more for everything. We want to help you live a happy and debt free life. Join us on KTAR News weekdays from 12-2 p.m. for The Ramsey Show. For the latest breaking news, tune to KTAR News 92.3 FM or the KTAR News app.

1 month ago

...

KTAR Video

Video: Listen to Dave Ramsey on KTAR News 92.3 weekdays noon-2 p.m.

For news you can trust, count on KTAR News. Dave Ramsey knows you can stay up to date with your community. For the latest about YOUR life and money, you can catch The Ramsey Show weekdays 12-2 p.m. on KTAR News 92.3 FM or the KTAR News app.

1 month ago

Sponsored Articles

...

Midwestern University

Midwestern University Clinic visits boost student training & community health

Going to a Midwestern University Clinic can help make you feel good in more ways than one.

...

Day & Night Air Conditioning, Heating and Plumbing

Beat the heat, ensure your AC unit is summer-ready

With temperatures starting to rise across the Valley, now is a great time to be sure your AC unit is ready to withstand the sweltering summer heat.

...

DESERT INSTITUTE FOR SPINE CARE

Desert Institute for Spine Care is the place for weekend warriors to fix their back pain

Spring has sprung and nothing is better than March in Arizona. The temperatures are perfect and with the beautiful weather, Arizona has become a hotbed for hikers, runners, golfers, pickleball players and all types of weekend warriors.

Dave says: Tell sister no to borrowing money for own sake