Get Outdoors: Rolling Stone’s gun study misses target

Jul 25, 2014, 5:11 PM | Updated: Aug 17, 2015, 3:50 pm

They have done it! After years of exhaustive research, Rolling Stone magazine has finally published its findings on the five most dangerous guns in America. How can we ever thank them? Is there a Nobel Prize for research? If so, these guys need a nomination now!

I hope you are picking up on my sarcasm.

Here is the list, see if you agree.

1. Pistols

2. Revolvers

3. Rifles

4. Shotguns

5. Derringers

Let me get this straight: “Top 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America” according to Rolling Stone, are … every gun in America.

I have at least one of each of the “Dangerous 5” in my home. I leave for work six days a week without the fear of my weapons breaking out of the safe, unlocking the trigger locks, loading themselves and killing someone.

“But Mike, what if a family member or friend gets ahold of them?” Good question. If someone goes through the trouble and effort of cracking my safe, finding my keys for the trigger locks and finding my ammo, they HAVE the intent to harm. They will find a way to harm with or without my guns.

Look, I understand that guns go BANG. I also understand that it takes a human finger attached to a human to make the gun go BANG. The guns can’t do that on their own.
We all know what the REAL problem is: idiots with guns.

So I have done a bit of my own research. I have looked into the most dangerous people in the world. Here are my findings:

1. Idiots

2. Morons

3. Bad guys

4. Knuckleheads

5. Zombies

Get the Nobel committee on the horn because I NAILED it!

Antigun fish wrappers like Rolling Stone need to stop hiding behind the “Guns are bad” mantra. How about focusing on the industry that it covers? How about “The 5 Most Dangerous Songs in America”? Won’t be too hard to find songs about gang violence, 9MMs, killing cops, you get the idea.

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Get Outdoors: Rolling Stone’s gun study misses target