Critiquing the campaigns’ ad nauseam advertisements

Sep 23, 2020, 1:00 PM | Updated: 1:05 pm

If the candidates are going to insist on running their political ads — ad nauseam — through Nov. 3, can I ask a small favor?

I realize you’re politicians — so I know better than to ask that you give us honest ads — so all I’m asking for is this: coherent commercials. Or at least ones that make voters want to vote for ya.

Our first instance is the Joe Biden ad that I’ve seen the most. It’s the one that ends with him looking directly into the camera, and saying, “Do your job, Mr. President!”

No, Joe! If Donald Trump does his job, doesn’t that preclude you from getting his job?

I mean, really, it’s just weird to give away the game plan to your opponent.

But even weirder is this Trump ad:

Wow. My eyes hurt. Was that an ad – or an acid trip?

Kamala Harris’ maniacal laughter might make for a good Halloween sound effect to play on my porch – but this is not a good campaign commercial.

Now, a little local advice for none other than U.S. Senate candidate Mark Kelly.

The Democrat from Arizona doesn’t need to throw out this commercial – he just needs to rework it so his resume appears in the right order:

In My Blood

The importance of public service has been ingrained in me since I was a kid. I watched my parents serve our community as police officers. I heard stories about my grandfather's work as a firefighter after serving our country in World War II. My family’s legacy in public service inspired me to join the Navy and NASA all those years ago. I never planned to run for Senate, but public service is in my blood.

Posted by Captain Mark Kelly on Saturday, September 12, 2020

I don’t mean to besmirch the training of your teen years, Capt. Kelly — but even if my arm was hanging on by a solitary vein after a traffic crash, a past me would’ve still asked that grown-up paramedics show up to supervise before letting the Emergency Medical Twin Teens treat me.

It might be a different (hypothetical) story if I had a (hypothetical) crystal ball and could see your four future space flights and 39 Desert Storm sorties (which are mentioned in your current ad).

But if I had a crystal ball, I would’ve (hypothetically) also doled out some future political advice on the side of that road: List “Teen EMT” a little farther down on your resume, Mark – or at least after the Navy and NASA.

Jim Sharpe

Kari Lake, Republican candidate for Arizona governor, speaks on stage at the Conservative Political...
Jim Sharpe

Why Kari Lake should tell Katie Hobbs to get a face tattoo

To ensure a fair election, KTAR News host Jim Sharpe has an outlandish idea: Kari Lake should insist Katie Hobbs get a face tattoo so the electorate can tell Hobbs apart from her twin sister.
2 months ago
(Twitter Photo/@RepAndyBiggsAZ)...
Jim Sharpe

Andy Biggs, Italian satellites and other GOP lunacy came out of Thursday’s Jan. 6 hearing

What came out of Thursday's Jan. 6 hearing -- including the claim U.S. Rep. Andy Biggs of Arizona asked for a presidential pardon -- has KTAR News host Jim Sharpe believing some Republicans should be happy Donald Trump lost.
3 months ago
(Allen J. Schaben / Los Angeles Times via Getty Images)...
Jim Sharpe

How did fewer Arizona drivers equal more road rage?

KTAR News host Jim Sharpe is peeved since road rage incidents in Arizona seem to be climbing despite fewer drivers on the road.
6 months ago
(AP Photo/David Goldman)...
Jim Sharpe

Too many ‘mental’ members in Arizona Legislature

KTAR News host Jim Sharpe wonders why Republican Arizona Legislature members continue to push bills that propagate the idea there was widespread election fraud in 2020.
6 months ago
(Screenshot via Maricopa County Attorney's Office YouTube)...
Jim Sharpe

Failing future — and current — victims means Maricopa County Attorney Adel should resign

KTAR News host Jim Sharpe believes Maricopa County Attorney Allister Adel should resign after her office failed current -- and likely future -- victims by missing a charging deadline for about 200 cases.
7 months ago
(Facebook Photo/Phoenix Union High School District)...
Jim Sharpe

How about actual ‘safe spaces’ for Phoenix Union students?

Following a Monday shooting at Cesar Chavez High School, KTAR News host Jim Sharpe asks if school resource officers should have a renewed presence at Phoenix Union High School District.
10 months ago

Sponsored Articles


Key dates for Arizona sports fans to look forward to this fall

Fall brings new beginnings in different ways for Arizona’s professional sports teams like the Cardinals and Coyotes.
Day & Night Air Conditioning, Heating and Plumbing

Ways to prevent clogged drains and what to do if you’re too late

While there are a variety of ways to prevent clogged drains, it's equally as important to know what to do when you're already too late.
Dr. Richard Carmona

Great news: Children under 5 can now get COVID-19 vaccine

After more than two years of battle with an invisible killer, we can now vaccinate the youngest among us against COVID-19. This is great news.
Critiquing the campaigns’ ad nauseam advertisements