Scottsdale therapist seeing influx of couples stressed due to COVID-19
Aug 24, 2020, 4:15 AM
(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
PHOENIX — A Scottsdale-based marriage and family therapist said she’s seeing “an influx of couples that are in more distress” due to the coronavirus pandemic.
“Couples will say ‘we get into fights, but lately it feels like our fights are even worse than they’ve ever been,’” Rachel Thomas, owner of Therapy with Heart, told KTAR News 92.3 FM.
Thomas’ practice saw a drop in couples reaching out when the coronavirus pandemic first hit Arizona earlier this year. That has changed in the last three months.
“The level of reaching out for additional support and couples saying ‘we’re struggling, we need help’ has definitely consistently increased,” she said.
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Thomas said the coronavirus is adding more stress and causing new conflicts for couples. Part of the reason why couples are fighting more comes from being cooped up and working from home.
“A lot of people are home together more, so they’re more likely to step on each other’s toes and get into arguments that maybe they weren’t getting into before,” she said.
It’s also because couples are facing more stress, including from trying to work while also helping kids with online learning. Some couples are also facing financial stress from work furloughs or losses.
As an escape, some are turning to addictive behaviors, such as substance abuse, while others are engaging in emotional or physical affairs.
Varying beliefs about the coronavirus is also causing conflicts among couples.
“I see a lot of couples where one partner doesn’t feel that it needs to be taken as seriously as another partner, and so they end up getting into a lot of conflict around that,” Thomas said.
She added the coronavirus pandemic has without a doubt put a strain on marriages and relationships. But there are several strategies she recommends that can help, starting with creating intentional time with each other.
“Make sure that you have time together to really check in,” she said. “How are you? How are we? What can I be doing better in our relationship? What do you need from me and how can I show up in a better way and vice versa?”
Thomas also advises couples to reach out for help “before it gets really bad.”
“Don’t wait until you’re in a state of crisis or in a state of discernment about whether you should stay together or not,” she said. “Come in sooner when you’re noticing that there’s disconnect in your partnership and get support.”
