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Detour Dan’s ‘It’s Fridaaaaay!’ means a lot to my 401K

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 27: Screens show drops in stock prices on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange on February 27, 2020 in New York City. With concerns growing about how the coronavirus might effect the economy, stocks fell for the fourth straight day. The Dow Jones Industrial Average lost almost 1200 points on Thursday. (Photo by Scott Heins/Getty Images)

You know that ride at the Arizona State Fair where they strap you into a cage that’s attached to a rotating boom? The one where the boom not only whips your cage up and down but the cage also spins at about 600 RPM? It’s called The Zipper.

Right now, my stomach feels like I ate 35 deep-fried Twinkies, climbed on The Zipper, and about halfway through my ride I realize that this particular Zipper was disassembled in Tulsa two days ago and thrown together an hour before I rode it.

That’s how I feel when I think about what coronavirus is doing to the stock market and my 401K.

But could things get even worse?

Maybe.

Even though economists tell me the stock market won’t have a dramatic, direct, short-term effect on what’s a very healthy U.S. economy, the fear of the actual coronavirus disease itself — not what it’s doing to the markets — could create a change in our spending ways.

If Americans get more corona-concerned, we might stop going out to movies, going out to eat and going out of town. 

And that could have a direct affect on the economy.

Thankfully, I don’t think we’ve reached panic mode yet. If you don’t count investors, that is.

Is there some good coronavirus news here? Kinda. Bargain shoppers might be excited by what ABC’s Rebecca Jarvis was reporting on KTAR News 92.3 FM’s Arizona’s Morning News, that we could see discounts at restaurants and on airfare and hotel rates.

But is that really good news for tourism-dependent Arizona? Is having to offer discounted rates to get tourists here really a plus?

Maybe we should advertise our summer staycation rates nationwide with an advertising slogan: “Phoenix: where it’s so damn hot, coronavirus went back to China!”

I haven’t panicked about catching coronavirus itself, and I refuse to catch the panic about its economic effects.

Still, I (and my tummy) yearn for good news.

Maybe I’ll just have to settle for the good news that Detour Dan brings us at the end of every week:

It’s Friday, indeed! Yay! Time for some serious weekend relaxing.

However, most of this weekend’s relaxing will come as a result of knowing that the weekend brings two whole days of no trading on Wall Street.

Arizona's Morning News