PAT MCMAHON

Is the gay marriage hearing an April fools?

Apr 1, 2013, 6:34 PM

April fools!

That’s what you guys are doing, right? I mean you’re all just putting us on with this time and energy and money, all this decision making by the Supreme Court about something as humanly fundamental as two people making a legal commitment to one another and sharing all the rights and benefits that go along with that.

Oh! Wait! You wanted all that for normal people like us. Not those homos, those fags, those queers, those sodomites.

I mean, if we start treating them as if they weren’t abominations, what would Jesus say? OK, nothing, as I recall. Even when he was keeping company with prostitutes and crooks and lepers, he never got around to saying anything about gays.

Maybe there weren’t any! That outfit of his certainly wasn’t designer made.

No, but the Bible certainly doesn’t ignore them. Scripture comes down hard on homosexuals, along with people who eat shellfish and women treated as anything more than furniture.

There was a sign in a crowd of demonstrators last week, “Kids do better with a mom and dad.” Don’t you think that sign would be more effective displayed in a divorce court?

So no matter what the Supreme Court says, we have to decide which is more acceptable: Treating a loving couple with respect and equality or letting them eat a crab leg.

I’m Pat McMahon.

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Is the gay marriage hearing an April fools?