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‘Apprentice,’ ‘Stars’ lack any celebrities

No! I don’t care what TMZ is saying, there is absolutely no truth to the ugly rumor that the new pope, Francis, will compete on this season of “Dancing with the Stars” with an Argentine tango.

Though, on the subject of Catholics, the teams on the “Amazing Race” may be asked to competitively repaint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with a roller. The last team to complete the project will not only be eliminated but also excommunicated according to the show’s publicists.

Nonsense? Ridiculous? No more so than the craziness occurring on Donald Trump’s “Celebrity Apprentice.” Omarosa — a villainess so conniving, so fundamentally evil she makes Snow White’s stepmother look like Mother Teresa — is still on the show because La Toya Jackson couldn’t bring herself to get her fired.

Omarosa, La Toya Jackson. Yes, the show is called “Celebrity Apprentice,” but “Dancing” has “stars” such as Lisa Vanderpump, Zendaya Coleman and Ingo Rademacher, who I believe in their spare time fly for the Luftwaffe.

And I watch all these shows!

I’m Pat McMahon.