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The winning Powerball was in Arizona? It has to be me

So they’ve found that there were only two winning Powerball tickets for the nearly $600 million dollar jackpot: one in Missouri and the other here in Arizona.

Just like everyone else, the moment I heard there was a winning ticket right here in this state, maybe in Phoenix, maybe right down the block, maybe me, I instantly lost all semblance of rational thinking and most of my values.

Let’s see…naturally, I’ll take the lump sum so my half would be cut to about $150 million That’s not a bad return for two minutes at a convenience store.

I love my country and will gladly pay my taxes. Besides, if I didn’t, they would send me to prison.

So I still wind up with around $95 million; $95 million to spend or to divide up among my relatives.

No! $95 million to spend. Let’s see first…at last I’m going to get…what? Fountain Hills? I didn’t buy a ticket in Fountain Hills.

The winner is there? That’s not fair. They have all that pretty water in the air and Joe Arpaio lives there. What am I left with?

I guess plans to buy another Powerball ticket for this Saturday.

I’m Pat McMahon.