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Island fever

Hey, Joe — or, more courteously, Sheriff Arpaio —
this is Pat and I know you’ll get this message because of
all those people in your office who record the times your
name is mentioned on radio and television shows.

So look, I just heard about the travel opportunities that
have become available to people who help the Maricopa
County Sheriff’s Office in its pursuit of justice.

I mean, I know you just sent a couple of your people to
Hawaii to get to the bottom of this President Obama birth
certificate thing. Well, you’ve said you wouldn’t rest
until it was solved to your satisfaction — which
apparently doesn’t include the Secretary of State putting
it aside — along with the U.S. Supreme Court, the
Department of Justice and the Federal Bureau of

It’s just that if you’re still searching for evidence, I
heard somewhere that his family may have been Aborigines
and, since I’ve always wanted to go to Australia, I’d be
happy to check it out. And, if that’s not possible,
Florida is nice.

How about getting the inside scoop about NASA and those
phony moon landings they tried to get past us?

My bag is packed, Joe, anytime you need my help.

I’m Pat McMahon.