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Pat McMahon: Charlie

Now, come on. Admit it. In the last few weeks, you’ve considered the idea of Lindsay Lohan as your kid’s nanny as opposed to Charlie Sheen sharing the same planet with you. Oh wait! I forgot. Charlie isn’t on our planet. He’s already told us he’s a rock star from Mars.

You know, I actually decided some time ago not to join the chroniclers of self-destruction, doing yet another story of the immolation of Carlos Irwin Estevez. But with all the daily ramblings and insane rantings about his paranoid delusions concerning the CBS network trying to destroy his family and his producer being at fault for all of his misbehavior — with all of this sad, sick outrage — his show, “2 ½ men” beat all the competition Monday night. With a rerun!

Are we all slowing down on the freeway to look for bodies! Folks, I know he’s 45 years-old and responsible for himself. But, isn’t watching him a little like peeking through the window of a hospice?