Can we be honest with each other?
Tailgating is the REAL reason why we love football season. The planning and preparation that goes into a tailgating event far outweighs checking the starting lineups of our fantasy teams.
Our jerseys are pressed and hanging neatly. We have aired up the football and dusted off the cornhole set. We upgraded our portable grill in the offseason. We have our tailgating portapotties cleaned and ready to…wait, what?
That’s right men AND women no longer have to wait in lines or brave the stench of those — always placed too far away — Porta Johns.
Women have been flocking to P-EZ, the specially designed female urinal. P-EZ is a “flexible silicone device” that allows a woman to “go” without the hassle of going anywhere. It is marketed as spill proof and (ready for this?) reusable. Don’t believe me?
It’s almost sold out on Groupon.
They can’t make these things fast enough! They have an MSRP of $22 but Groupon has TWO for $7.99 plus hipping.
Don’t worry guys, we have you covered as well: Introducing the Stadium Pal. The good folks at BioRelief have saved us men from the hassle of having to find a tree. This system connects to (ahem) you and a tube funnels your recycled beer to a bag that attaches to your leg. It’s a good thing that football season takes place in the winter so your jeans can discreetly cover your Stadium Pal. Try getting through the new NFL security check points with this bad boy.
Come on people! Have we really become this lazy? There is actually a market for products that bring the bathroom right to your pants!
So when you are tailgating this season and your buddy gets a shiver mid-sentence, it might be the Stadium Pal. When your wife…wait. I don’t even know how that P-EZ thing works. You are on your own ladies.
God help us and go Cardinals!