Sharper Point: Don Shooter needs a timeout, not a return to the Capitol
When that Pompeii exhibit opened at the Arizona Science Center a couple of weeks ago, I made some dumb joke on-air to my radio partner Jayme West. The joke was dumb enough that I can’t even remember what it was.
What was actually funny was when Jayme asked if the joke was “too soon?”
Well, if 1900-plus years isn’t long enough to wait to joke about the eruption of Mount Vesuvius, then waiting less than four months after you get kicked out of the Arizona House of Representatives to mount your political comeback is definitely too soon!
But that’s exactly what disgraced former Arizona Rep. Don Shooter is doing.
For those who have a bad memory (and this means you, Shooter), it was barely back on Feb. 1 when Shooter was kicked out of the state House by his colleagues for conduct that was “dishonorable and unbecoming of a member.”
That was the official wording, but it was really because Shooter acted inappropriately toward seven different women and created a hostile work environment in the state House.
To these poor women, Shooter’s unwanted advances must’ve made them want to throw up in their mouths — but in Shooter’s mind, I’m sure that amorous attention from “Dandy Don” completes a woman’s self-esteem.
With this screwed-up self-perception, it’s easy to see how he might think that voters want him, too. So earlier this week, Shooter climbed back on the political horse and turned in more than 800 signatures — qualifying him for the state Senate primary in his old district.
You’ve gotta give the guy credit for something: He duped that many people in Yuma into thinking he’s a great guy.
By the way, there is nothing in Arizona’s constitution — or its revised statutes — that bars an expelled former member of the legislature from getting voted back into the legislature. That means he could be roaming the halls of the Capitol less than a year after getting kicked out.
This doesn’t seem right.
Shouldn’t he have to serve some form of detention? I’m thinking something à la The Breakfast Club. Ya know, make him spend an entire Saturday in the library with the other miscreants, writing thousand-word essays on “who you think you are” and Vice Principal Vernon only checking in on them every couple of hours.
Problem is, by the time 3 o’clock rolls around, Shooter (who I envision as Judd Nelson) will have tried to hit on both Molly Ringwald and Ally Sheedy — twice.
Oh well. I guess we’ll just have to get used to the idea that Shooter might be coming back, whether we like it or not.
Because when you combine the facts that no one can stop him from running, he has a large enough group of people who think he should run to get him on the ballot, and he doesn’t think he did anything wrong, it all adds up to, “Why not go back to the Capitol? It’s a great place to meet chicks!”
We’d all just like a little notice — so we can tell the ladies when to hide.