Opinion: Heat wave hitting Phoenix is all jokes until someone dies

Jun 19, 2017, 4:22 AM | Updated: 11:14 am

Hikers brave the afternoon sun as the temperatures hit 110-degrees Thursday, June 15, 2017, in Phoe...

Hikers brave the afternoon sun as the temperatures hit 110-degrees Thursday, June 15, 2017, in Phoenix. Temperatures are expected to climb to 120-degrees in the metro area in the next week. (AP Photo/Ross D. Franklin)

(AP Photo/Ross D. Franklin)

There’s hot, there’s REALLY hot and then there’s “I think my bones are getting bleached right through my skin” hot!

The kind of heat where you don’t fry an egg on the sidewalk, you evaporate an egg on the sidewalk.

That’s what we’re facing this week in Phoenix and, if you’ve never experienced it before, there’s good news and there’s bad news.

First, the good news: It earns you bragging rights with your family and friends in other parts of the country.

Now the bad news: You have to live through it in order to brag.

I told the story on the air before about a game I used to play with Paulie, the guy who produced my morning show in New Orleans.

He was convinced that New Orleans weather was more uncomfortable than Phoenix’s. Every morning, we would whip out a copy of USA Today (hey, it was the ‘90s and we still read actual newspapers), flip to the page that had the weather map and read the one-word description for each city trying to outdo each other.

One particular day, Paulie delightedly pointed to the paper while yelling, “Sweltering!” This prompted me to grab the paper and point to Phoenix, whereupon I exclaimed, “Torrid!”

I won.

Having spent a few years in the Midwest and the South, I can tell you humidity sucks. I really do prefer the dry air of my home state of Arizona.

But, as I’ve also pointed out before, the term dry heat sounds an awful lot like dry heave.

While this weekend’s high temperatures were not completely ridiculous, highs near (or even above!) 120 degrees Tuesday and Wednesday make me consider booking a staycation at the Hades Resort and Spa located next to the Lake of Fire (See Revelation 20:11).

All joking aside, people will die in this heatwave. Make sure it’s not you, your kids or your neighbors.

Please check on your older neighbors, even if you feel like you’re being nosy. Of course, keep an eye on your pets. They can’t open doors or get themselves a bottle of water out of the fridge.

As someone who grew up in Arizona and has lived in its southern deserts for most of my life, I have to admit even a small part of me wanted to go out and do some yard work this weekend just to show the heat who’s boss. But I didn’t.

You know why? Because it’s stupid.

I also know that I will still get tons of credit when it hits 120 degrees because everybody back east won’t know if I went outside or not.

Jim Sharpe

(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)...

Jim Sharpe

Hoping for a better economy won’t get one here in time for the holidays

KTAR News host Jim Sharpe warns that without a dramatic economic improvement, the holiday gift Joe Biden wants in 2024 might not come.

7 days ago


KTAR Video

Video: Millions of Americans worried over holiday shopping this years as #BlackFridaySales kick off

Jim Sharpe breaks down the numbers as millions of Americans are worried ahead of Black Friday and the holiday season ahead, can they afford to give gifts this year?

7 days ago


KTAR Video

Video: Sharper Point: Hope for a better economy won’t get here in time for Black Friday sales, holidays

As the major holiday shopping starts, a new survey shows many consumers aren’t confident in their ability to buy gifts this year. Jim Sharpe takes a look at how the holiday shopping season may not help President Joe Biden get the present he wants most in 2024. Video: Jeremy Schnell and Felisa Cárdenas/KTAR News

7 days ago


KTAR Video

Video: Sharper Point: Five Arizona cities deemed top destinations for Thanksgiving holiday

Jim Sharpe reveals which five Arizona cities cracked the Top 20 of Wallet Hub’s 100 top places to go for Thanksgiving and shared what he’s thankful for this year. Video: Jeremy Schnell and Felisa Cárdenas/KTAR News Subscribe to the KTAR Daily Newsletter: https://bit.ly/45MmM3G Read articles from KTAR News: https://ktar.com/ Download the KTAR app: https://ktar.com/the-ktar-newstalk-app/ Sign […]

8 days ago


KTAR Video

Video: Sharper Point: Throwing around ideas instead of rocks when it comes to the Israel-Hamas war

After a week of protests in the Valley, Jim Sharpe discusses how Arizona is not immune from the ugliness of the Israel-Hamas war. Video: Jeremy Schnell and Felisa Cárdenas/KTAR News

11 days ago

(KTAR News Graphic)...

Sponsored Content by Boys and Girls Club of the Valley

KTAR launches online holiday auction benefitting Boys & Girls Clubs of the Valley

KTAR is teaming up with The Boys & Girls Clubs of the Valley for a holiday auction benefitting thousands of Valley kids.

Sponsored Articles

Follow @KTAR923...

The best ways to honor our heroes on Veterans Day and give back to the community

Veterans Day is fast approaching and there's no better way to support our veterans than to donate to the Military Assistance Mission.


Desert Institute for Spine Care

Desert Institute for Spine Care (DISC) wants to help Valley residents address back, neck issues through awake spine surgery

As the weather begins to change, those with back issues can no longer rely on the dry heat to aid their backs. That's where DISC comes in.



Importance of AC maintenance after Arizona’s excruciating heat wave

An air conditioning unit in Phoenix is vital to living a comfortable life inside, away from triple-digit heat.

Opinion: Heat wave hitting Phoenix is all jokes until someone dies