Here’s how to help your child grieve the death of a loved one
Mar 24, 2017, 5:00 AM | Updated: 10:15 am
After a 9-year-old Phoenix boy died Tuesday after being shot in the head in his own home, parents of the boy’s friends and classmates are left with a difficult task: How to help their child understand the loss of a loved one.
Landen Lavarnia was pronounced dead on Tuesday after spending nearly two days on life support. His parents, Wendy and Kansas Lavarnia, were charged with first-degree murder on Wednesday.
When faced with a tough situation like this, Valley grief mentor David Knapp advises parents of young ones who have lost a close friend to be aware of how they are grieving.
“Children tend to look to adults to know how to do major stuff,” he said. “They watch how the adults mourn [and say], ‘Oh, that’s how you react in that situation.'”
Kids might be receptive and open, but they also might internalize their feelings and become reclusive. If it gets to that point, Knapp said, the challenge becomes how you reach them.
Knapp said it is important to allow children to express their feelings in a way that they are properly grieving.
“One of the things is openness,” he said. “After my first wife died, I actually went in one-on-one with each of my kids and talked to them.
“And I wept in their presence, giving them the freedom to weep as well,” Knapp added. Permission to grieve is very, very vital.”
