The four types of people you will see at the Waste Management Phoenix Open

Let’s face it: the Waste Management Phoenix Open is no longer about golf. The Open is about drinking and people watching — period.

The week-long event is dubbed as the “Greatest Show on Grass,” but if we’re being honest, the greatest show is happening off of the golf course.

With attendance estimated at more than half a million people, golf takes a backseat at the Phoenix Open. It becomes secondary to drinking and the real sport: People watching.

Here are the four types of people that you are bound to run into at the Open.

The drunken frat boy

Sporting Ray Bans, a polo shirt and boat shoes with one beer in hand, this one will be easy to spot.

He’ll be loud. He’ll be obnoxious. There will be no talk of golf or of the tournament itself, just talk of what bar or club he is hitting up with his boys afterwards.

The crying girlfriend

You will find the crying girlfriend near the drunken frat boy, and the reason that she will be crying will presumably be because of said frat boy — and a little too much alcohol.

She’ll be wearing attire that is not weather appropriate. She will be hard-pressed to name one professional golfer who ISN’T Tiger Woods. She’ll be holding a mixed drink.

And once again there will be no talk of golf. Just babbling and convincing her friends that said drunken frat boy is a good boyfriend, despite their efforts to convince her otherwise.

The real golf fans

These people are easy to spot because they are everywhere, except the 16th hole. They are quiet while shots are being taken and lecture those who aren’t.

The screamers

You know exactly who I’m talking about.

After every tee shot they yell as loud as they can — “GET IN THE HOLE!” “YOU DA MAN!” or just the golfer’s first name, “RORY!”

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