Cards Against Humanity looking for new CEO — only if you’re Barack Obama

Cards Against Humanity, the uncensored card game that is typically reserved for get-togethers and parties, is looking for a new CEO — but only if you’re former President Barack Obama.

The party game posted a classified advertisement on Craigslist looking for a new CEO, but the requirements are very specific, almost too specific.

“Let’s face it: we have no idea what we’re doing,” the ad starts out.

“This year, we wasted an enormous amount of time and 
energy trying to get Hillary Clinton elected president, and on Black Friday we dug a huge hole in the 
ground because we wanted to find out if it would be funny,” the ad continued. “It’s been a great run, but now it’s time 
for real adult leadership.”

The company said it is looking for a “highly-qualified executive” with strong public speaking skills, a steady disposition and excellent negotiating powers.

Then it gets down to business — executive business.

Some other qualifications include “minimum eight years experience president of the United States of America or equivalent nation,” “passed comprehensive healthcare reform” and “experience hunting terrorist masterminds” with a “national approval rating of 57.2 percent or higher.”

Oh, and someone who is a natural-born citizen with a proficiency in Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint — and has received the Nobel Peace Prize.

The right candidate will receive 51 percent of the company, can set their own salary, will get health, dental and vision insurance (while available), a new computer and “access to office pantry with unlimited almonds.”

The new CEO would also have to relocate to Chicago and “can be our new Dad if you want (optional but strongly preferred).”

Anyone specific come to mind?

Just four days into Donald Trump’s presidency, companies such as Cards Against Humanity are looking to keep Obama working hard for the people.

But Obama has some pretty steadfast plans to get working with The Obama Foundation and finish writing his third book while he is a citizen — I’m pretty sure he’d quickly turn down the chance to be the CEO for Cards Against Humanity.

Hi everybody! Back to the original handle. Is this thing still on? Michelle and I are off on a quick vacation, then we’ll get back to work.

— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) January 20, 2017

However, if you are not Obama, meet all the qualifications and are interested in the job, the company wants you to email mail@cardsagainsthumanity.com.

Good luck!

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