PHOENIX — We’d hate to be the ones to burst your caffeinated bubble, but the world’s largest Starbucks is not opening in downtown Phoenix.
A fake story began circulating over the weekend that the coffee giant was planning to build a location that would seat 2,155 people, more than double the size of the actual largest cafe in the world.
While that sounds like a good sign for the city, we started noticing some rather odd plans for a Starbucks location. The 560 flavors of coffee and a restaurant sounded great, but the idea of a carousel, roller coaster and ferris wheel sounded a little far-fetched.
The store was supposedly going to occupy some space on the corner of Seventh Avenue and Roosevelt Street in downtown Phoenix. There’s some room there, but we’re not sure a three-story, 51,000-square-foot monument to coffee would even fit.
Factually, the story is riddled with clear errors. Links do not go to a specific source or simply redirect back to the main story, quotes seem unbelievable — “I’m also relieved that the Children’s Hospital that was planned for this location is now permanently put on hold; what an eyesore that would have been” — and the fact that it’s scheduled to open in less than two months with no construction underway are just a few of the red flags.
Add in the fact that a known prankster, Paul Horner, told the Phoenix New Times he was behind the article and the dream of a coffee-fueled megapark in the Valley is officially dead.
For the record, Horner is the same guy responsible for the rumored all-robot staff at a Phoenix McDonald’s.
To make it perfectly clear: The Starbucks story is fake. It won’t be built in downtown, it won’t have a petting zoo and it won’t have a log flume.
But if the coffee giant is ready to take some of Horner’s ideas and add them to each location, might we recommend the water slide? It sounds fun.
Arizona open and hiring: If you’re looking for job openings, visit ktar.com/arizonahiring.
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