I’m writing this while wearing a t-shirt. I also laid by the pool today. You jealous, Midwest?
Of course you are. You all just put up with insanely low temperatures while a polar vortex moved through your area. Thanks to YouTube, we all saw what that looked like.
Remember, we have plenty of houses and jobs out here!
Next, I took a look at a dog who hates alarm clocks. He even figured out how to turn it off! Maybe that’s why his owner, who is a messy dude, is always late for work.
Finally, Macaulay Culkin is in a pizza-themed band. It’s weird. Like, really, really, really weird.