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Letterman un-retires to deliver Top Ten List targeting Trump

FILE - In this Saturday, July 11, 2015, file photo, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks at FreedomFest in Las Vegas. Retired "Late Show" host David Letterman appeared with comedians Martin Short and Steve Martin at their live comedy show on Friday, July 10, 2015, in San Antonio, where Letterman read "Interesting facts about Donald Trump." (AP Photo/John Locher, File)

Some things are more important than retirement.

David Letterman was called back into action this weekend with a brand-new Top Ten List inspired by the recent presidential candidacy of Donald Trump.

Although he’s been content since retiring as host of “Late Show” in May, Letterman called missing out on lampooning Trump’s White House bid “the biggest mistake of my life.”

Appearing with his pals Martin Short and Steve Martin at their live comedy show Friday night in San Antonio, he made up for lost time:

10. That thing on his head was the gopher in “Caddyshack.”

9. During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name.

8. Donald Trump looks like the guy in the lifeboat with the women and children.

7. He wants to build a wall? How about building a wall around that thing on his head!

6. Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for a delusional, bull… Oh, no, wait, that’s me.

5. Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds — 250 with cologne.

4. Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is free-range.

3. (tie) If President, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving. AND: That’s not a hairdo — it’s a wind advisory.

2. Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he’s starring in a new movie entitled, “NO Amigos” (a reference to the 1986 comedy, “Three Amigos,” that starred Short and Martin).

1. Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass.

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