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Missed demeanor

I’ve got a great idea for a new “Transformer” movie.

Since Shia LaBeouf gained stardom by making three of them, perhaps he could transform himself into a civilized, reasonably behaved citizen in a future film.

If that doesn’t happen, the only role available to him will be Optimus Prime Punk. Have you heard the latest in his long list of alcohol-infused incidents?

He was in the audience of the Broadway show “Cabaret,” when he stood, with a cigarette in his mouth, to shout obscenities at the actors. Predictably, when security forcibly removed him from the theater, his shouted exit line was the old semi-celebrity cliché “Don’t you know who I am?”

Yes, I do. You’re the guy who makes me long to attend Oktoberfest with Lindsay Lohan and Justin Bieber. A few days before the theater incident, LaBeouf attempted to start a fight in front of a strip club and chased a homeless man through a park.

Clearly a disturbed individual — not Shia LaBeouf but me. I’m disturbed that so many celebrities use alcohol as their excuse for being badly behaved bums.

I’m Pat McMahon.