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Tricked out

It happens to me every year around this time.

I had this dream that it was Halloween night and I had the strangest trick-or-treaters come to my house. I remember, just as I feel into a deep sleep, that I heard someone knocking. When I opened the door, there was this giant crow wearing an ASU shirt, attempting to strangle a small antelope. Right behind them was Kathleen Sebelius, who apologized for bothering me, and when I asked if she wanted some candy, she said no, but said I could have all the health care I wanted, but I might have to wait a while.

Then along came someone in a Henny Penny costume waving a Tea Party flag screaming, “The sky is falling!”

“The whole sky?” I asked, and Henny Penny replied, “No, only the part on the left.”

Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne was also in my driveway, because he said he had backed into my car, but he didn’t offer to pay for the repairs.

The dream continued with someone I didn’t recognize: It was one of this year’s Phoenix Suns. And suddenly there, on the lawn, was the President of the United States. I asked him why he wasn’t in costume like everyone else. He said, “I didn’t know I was supposed to. Nobody tells me anything.”

I’m Pat McMahon.