If you were among the hordes of shoppers who survived Black Friday, then you may be thinking of today as Black-and-Blue Monday.
Let me tell you, if you were one of those who ventured out in search of holiday specials, I hope you found what you were looking for without the additional bonus of contusions and lacerations. Listen, some of those folks are capable of a 207: that’s assault with an X-Box.
I know nothing of this merry mayhem personally. Through the entire Thanksgiving weekend, I remained in my house, behind locked doors, lest the bargain zombies attacked in search of my Costco card.
Actually, I did make a brief visit to one of our local markets because that was a place where rational, organized shopping could be done. No $5 flat screens or free vacations, just food purchased by civilized consumers.
I discovered it was the apparent site of the gran prix for shopping carts, people cutting others off, careening at high speeds so as not to miss out on the last package of frozen broccoli. If that was you, calm down. Relax. Enjoy this time of year.
Remember, a long time ago, they weren’t looking for a sale price on frankincense.
I’m Pat McMahon.
- 11 holiday classics for the ultimate movie marathon
- 2016 college football rivalry games you simply can't miss
- New treatment offers hope for migraine sufferers
- 11 stadiums to watch your favorite football team
- Shopping for a TV? Best models for 2016
- The new beer pairing guide for holiday foods
- Avoid this holiday plumbing disaster in your home
- 7 tips to avoid holiday weight gain
- New treatments mean better prostate cancer survival rates
- 5 of the scariest things found in drains
- 6 tips to create the best family movie night
- New bone marrow procedure holds promise for healing pain
- The best places to celebrate Fall in Phoenix
- Infamous athletes who did the most time for their crimes
- Diet, exercise and aspirin: 3 tools to fight colon cancer
- 2016 baseball highlights, bloopers and blunders
- See how CFOs really feel about business in the Valley
- The best television shows on the internet
- The 5 worst things you could do for your roof
- 6 coolest things brewing in Arizona
- The virus that keeps head and neck cancers on the rise
- State Fair ‘Kid Reporter’ has all the angles covered
- 4 important things to know about timeshare maintenance fees
- Signs of delayed car crash injuries
- The truth about sports concussions
- The Alzheimer's epidemic: Facts you need to know
- The season is here, keep your Fantasy Football team strong all season
- 8 TV shows you can't miss this fall
- Football is here: 6 tips to make this your best season ever
- Gameday recipes and beers to match