If you were among the hordes of shoppers who survived Black Friday, then you may be thinking of today as Black-and-Blue Monday.
Let me tell you, if you were one of those who ventured out in search of holiday specials, I hope you found what you were looking for without the additional bonus of contusions and lacerations. Listen, some of those folks are capable of a 207: that’s assault with an X-Box.
I know nothing of this merry mayhem personally. Through the entire Thanksgiving weekend, I remained in my house, behind locked doors, lest the bargain zombies attacked in search of my Costco card.
Actually, I did make a brief visit to one of our local markets because that was a place where rational, organized shopping could be done. No $5 flat screens or free vacations, just food purchased by civilized consumers.
I discovered it was the apparent site of the gran prix for shopping carts, people cutting others off, careening at high speeds so as not to miss out on the last package of frozen broccoli. If that was you, calm down. Relax. Enjoy this time of year.
Remember, a long time ago, they weren’t looking for a sale price on frankincense.
I’m Pat McMahon.
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