If you were among the hordes of shoppers who survived Black Friday, then you may be thinking of today as Black-and-Blue Monday.
Let me tell you, if you were one of those who ventured out in search of holiday specials, I hope you found what you were looking for without the additional bonus of contusions and lacerations. Listen, some of those folks are capable of a 207: that’s assault with an X-Box.
I know nothing of this merry mayhem personally. Through the entire Thanksgiving weekend, I remained in my house, behind locked doors, lest the bargain zombies attacked in search of my Costco card.
Actually, I did make a brief visit to one of our local markets because that was a place where rational, organized shopping could be done. No $5 flat screens or free vacations, just food purchased by civilized consumers.
I discovered it was the apparent site of the gran prix for shopping carts, people cutting others off, careening at high speeds so as not to miss out on the last package of frozen broccoli. If that was you, calm down. Relax. Enjoy this time of year.
Remember, a long time ago, they weren’t looking for a sale price on frankincense.
I’m Pat McMahon.
- Tips to get ready for a pain-free golf season
- Protect your family with these 7 home security features
- How to train like an Olympic swimmer
- 2016 Olympics: A guide to must-see TV events
- The bride's guide to feeling your best on your wedding day
- Deciding when you need knee surgery
- Celebrating Fourth of July is much cooler in these AZ towns
- Top ten road trip bathrooms in America
- Six things causing a pain in your neck
- 5 things to make your summer move easier
- Three elements of a strong timeshare exit guarantee
- Stretches and exercises for carpal tunnel syndrome
- The best Major League ballparks have their own personality
- Comparing the best regular seasons: The '96 Bulls and '16 Warriors
- 3 Arizona road trips and the vehicles to get you there
- Colon cancer is preventable. Check these signs and symptoms to stay healthy.
- 6 of the biggest skin cancer myths
- Affordable small home makeover ideas
- Locals helping locals: 6 success stories you need to know about
- Sunscreen facts that could save your life
- 6 energy saving hacks for your home
- 5 tips for choosing a company to end your timeshare
- Overlooked water tips to save you money
- 5 of the most adored gentlemen in professional sports today
- The real danger of sitting at your desk
- Most surprising NBA playoff performances of the last 40 years
- 11 classic baseball movies you must see again
- Finally getting rid of fat: 3 methods that actually work
- 4 reasons cancer survivors should focus on food
- 5 spring cleaning spots everyone forgets