Gnashing our teeth: Shark Week 2013 bites

There is Thanksgiving, Independence Day, Christmas and Shark Week — not necessarily in that order. Let’s face it, our country has an infatuation with sharks and the Discovery Channel has our number.

For the past 25 years, we have tuned in faithfully to watch the apex of the predators’ chain chomp into everything from foam seals to humans. Unfortunately, this year, Discovery Channel is off to a poor start.

Shark Week 2013 launched Sunday with the premiere of “Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives.” They might as well have played a rerun of “Sharknado.” My wife and I weren’t sure if what we were watching was real. I was lost the minute that they stooped to the depths of the “Blair Witch Project” camera angles. My wife and I turned it into a drinking game. We took a drink every time Photoshop or CGI was so poorly used that we had to hit rewind just to laugh.

Let’s just say that it was a rough morning for me.

As if THAT wasn’t enough, the abysmal MegloFlop was followed by “Shark After Dark,” a live studio-audience interview show. Apparently starving for the Comedy Central viewer, Discovery wowed us with tasteless bits such as Shark Porn, a guy in a shark costume, awkward moments with the Twitter Girl, Dominic Monaghan, (aka Charlie from “Lost”) and endless use of the word “chumming.”

Discovery, we deserve better than this! A quarter-century of loyal viewing shouldn’t get us slapped in the face with a “Megalodon.”

By the way, the shark (guy in a shark costume) in Shark After Dark has more Twitter followers than I do. After one hour on-air. Folks, I have hit rock bottom.