Share this story...
Want to buy some uranium ore? Amazon has you covered
Latest News

Want to buy some uranium ore? Amazon has you covered

Not sure what to get your loved one this holiday season? Well we have a gift idea for you! For the low, low price of $39.95 plus shipping, you can give the gift that truly says “I love U” — a can of uranium ore.

You may be asking yourself, “is it safe?” or “how is it delivered?” The fine folks in the questions and comments section have you covered.

Q: If I opt for air mail does it get delivered by Amazone [sic] Prime Air or CIA drones?

A: No sir, just give us your coordinate and we will deliver it via intercontinental missile in less than an hour, guaranteed speed.

Well isn’t that convenient.

When purchasing anything, customer reviews are a must-read. That is certainly the case with this product.

I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty. – Patrick J. McGovern

Remember high school biology?

I left this product next to my pet lizard, unfortunately now he’s 350ft tall now and is currently destroying Tokyo, Japan. – Lawrence Gonzalez

The horror. The horror.

I thought I was ordering Uranium 235. This stuff is not fissionable and not at all appropriate for building a death ray or small nuclear reactor. – anon pd

I hope this person kept the receipt.

I got a free cat in the box with this purchase but I’m not sure if I should open it to see if the cat is ok. – Ellya

That’s a question for Erwin Schrödinger.

Purchase some uranium ore today and remember, according to the product’s description, “Radioactive minerals are for educational and scientific use only.”