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Opinion: Five reasons parents can’t stand back-to-school week

(AP Photo/Rogelio V. Solis, File)

Back-to-school time is always exciting for kids, but for parents, it’s a mixed bag of emotions.

It’s amazing to watch our kids grow older and move on to another year of school. Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were holding them in our arms?!

But that sweet nostalgia tends to be spoiled, at least for a couple days, when the reality of kids heading back to class sets in. That means it’s time to shop (why do we all go the weekend before school starts every year?), change the family schedule to fit school plans and — oh, this is the worst — get ready for the traffic.

So here, in hopes of bringing a smile to your face (or is that a grimace?), are the five things parents dread about sending their kids back to school:

Bags of supplies

You have either already schlepped them into your kid’s classes during orientation or you were handed a list of needs when you arrived.

Forget about the fact that this supply haul has encroached upon your Taco Tuesday budget for the next two months. This was not supposed to happen!

I thought that the magical Proposition 123 was supposed to send billions to the classroom. So friends, if we weren’t completely duped, why hasn’t the tradition of back-to-school shopping for the school (not your kid) ended?

The return of foreign germs

Head on over to Costco and stock up on industrial sized cases of Airborne and Emergen-C or, better yet, just grab a pallet of both.

To call our schools petri dishes is an understatement. Unless you can spring for a hazardous materials team to hose your kids down at the end of the day, you better start stockpiling your sick days.

New curriculum

Now is not the time to debate Common Core. We are already in the battle, people! Your days of working math equations in your head are long gone. Flashcards are no longer for the kids — they’re for us parents!

We have to remember what box plots, dot plots, number bonds and factor trees are for. And what in the world is Singapore math?

Oh, and I checked with my kid’s physical education teacher — still no dodgeball.

In-service/Early release days

I understand that teachers need time to do whatever teachers do on in-service and early release days. Some districts (my kids’ included) have turned all three-day weekends into four-day weekends by calling off the Friday prior to the weekend.

What is not being considered here are the parents. Are we supposed to play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see which parent has to take a vacation day or leave work early?

Sorry, we can’t get a sitter. We blew that budget on classroom supplies.

Can’t this be taken care of with a few full-day games of Quiet Ball or Heads Up, 7-Up tournaments?

Car lines

Twice a day, Monday through Friday, most of the Valley completely forgets every written rule of the road.

The simple things, such as merging, four-way stops, stop signs, no parking signs, loading zones, school zones and well, common courtesy, are forgotten.

The thought of their little bubble children walking an additional 15 yards to the school entrance is purely unthinkable! They must do whatever is necessary to drop them off as close possible — even if that means fracturing a law or three.

There is a special place reserved in you-know-where for those parents that cut in a car line. You know who you are!

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