Making a New Year’s resolution is a good thing, right? Don’t we all benefit by at least trying to get better, even if we start by hitting the gym three times per week and end the year hitting Chipotle three times per week instead?
I’m sure we do. And I didn’t really feel like taking an honest look at myself — trust me, I get plenty of input on that — so I decided to come up with my own New Year’s resolutions, but for other people.
First up, it’s time for President-elect Donald Trump to use his Twitter account to create jobs. After the stock market latched on to his tweet about the F-35 program going over budget, Lockheed Martin lost $2 billion of its market value. He could start by hiring someone to monitor what he tweets.
Next up, should the Arizona Cardinals accept another documentary opportunity, maybe they should avoid the title “All or Nothing.” The team bought into one of those ideas and now we won’t be watching them in the playoffs.
I’ll keep my next two resolutions a secret. You’ll just have to watch the video above.
And if you know anyone who these resolutions could apply to, do me a favor and send it their way, would you?
Happy 2017, everybody!
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