The Cubs won the World Series! Now anything is possible!
The Chicago Cubs didn’t just win the World Series.
They won the World Series in the most unlikely of ways: they blew a three-run lead in Game 7 on the road. There was a rain delay. And the game went into extra innings because the Indians tied it up in the bottom of the ninth inning.
Yes, all that stuff is pretty unbelievable. But the most unbelievable thing — nay, the most unfathomable thing — is the simple fact that the Chicago Cubs won the World Series.
That win completely changes our world. It rips a giant, gaping hole in the space-time continuum and suddenly (as of now) anything is possible. ANYTHING.
Aliens could come down from space, render nuclear weapons useless and make us hug a random person every 20 minutes, thereby setting up a peaceful world for generations to come.
Don’t think that’s possible? The Cubs won the World Series! Anything is possible!
All malware could stop working. And some 8-year-old whiz kid could come up with a program that also makes phishing email scams completely unprofitable.
Teenagers could stop destroying the food budget of their families. They could wake up bright and early on Saturday mornings and be helpful around the house!
I know, that last one seems particularly impossible, but the Chicago Cubs won the World Series! Anything is possible!
Telephone solicitors could all develop a non-life-threatening, non-painful disease that makes it impossible for them to hold a telephone headset to their ear.
TV preachers could ask you to start praying for them and send you money.
The Duggars (and their kids) could stop having kids.
“Saturday Night Live” could be funny again.
After a 10-year hiatus, I could start using Internet Explorer.
Hell could freeze over, thaw from global warming and freeze all over again (and speaking of the weather, TV news crews could stop freaking out every time it rains during the monsoon season).
Yes, with the Chicago Cubs winning a World Series, a whole host of possibilities that once would’ve been deemed an impossibility suddenly, startlingly, become a possibility.
Ultimately, this may be a bad thing. Because it gives me a tiny sliver of hope that we really are living in a whole new world (that has the soundtrack to “Aladdin” playing in my head).
And it gives a flicker of a belief — just enough — to wish for something that I want more than just about anything else: That we all wake up on Nov. 9 and neither Hillary Clinton nor Donald Trump are president of the United States.
Hey, dare to dream! The Cubs did win the World Series.
- Heading to the Diamondbacks playoff game? Here’s what you need to know
- Arizona tourism office, Chicago Cubs team up to bring Chicagoans to Valley
- Former World Series winner’s Scottsdale house up for sale
- Sharper Point: Four takeaways from the WannaCry cyberattack
- Chicago Cubs spring training ticket price hike a swing and a miss for loyal fans