Ladies and gentlemen, the wussafication of this great nation of ours is almost complete!
I woke up Thursday morning to the trending story of U.S. Soccer goalie Hope Solo and her firing from the U.S. national team and six-month suspension from U.S. Soccer.
My first thought was drug use or a fight. You know, a crime worthy of such a punishment.
Noop! She used the word — I hope you are sitting down for this — “COWARD!”
No! Surely not!
Yes, Solo was quoted by “Sports Illustrated,” following an Olympic loss to Sweden, as saying, “We played a bunch of cowards. The best team did not win today. I strongly believe that. I think you saw American heart.”
Of course, both organizations explained the suspensions away with clever words like “expectations,” “highest standards” and “principles.”
Maybe Solo should have called these slappies a bunch of cowards.
This is all on the heels of Ryan Lochte losing millions in endorsements for lying about a drunken thrashing of a Rio gas station bathroom.
You know, because it is so appalling for us to think that star athletes would get a little ripped up while celebrating victory on the road and beat up a soap dispenser.
Oh, please, shield our sensitive eyes and ears from such evil!
The sensitivity continues with the comparisons of these two international crises.
The Solo supporters claim this would have never happened if Solo were a man. They also ask why Solo was suspended, while Lochte received a slap on the wrist.
You know, I used to speak out against our $800 billion annual defense budget. I used to make jokes about defending ourselves from an alien invasion. Not anymore.
The more I see how hypersensitive, politically correct and outrage-prone this nation has become, the more I will champion those brave men and women who defend this once-tough nation.
They shield us from nations that would try to exploit our evolving weaknesses, wrapping around us like an Iron Man suit protect our ever softening core.