1:15p.m.: It's the Four Pack and would you eat a delicious cut of meat, if you found out it was road kill?
2:15p.m.: Tempe is cracking down on people making money, and you're going to be thrilled about it.
2:35p.m.: Are you over the age of 44? You're already doomed apparently. If you're younger than that, there's still a chance!