Updated Mar 26, 2013 - 1:01 pm
The child who broke four windows
With the exception of a few children from the Amazon Rainforest who may have never seen a window before, nearly every child has broken a window at one time or another. If they haven't broken window yet, they probably should! It's almost like a rite of passage. Most kids will break one or two windows over the course of their childhood, but you were not like most kids.
It was a summer day; it was one of those days when you had to be outside. You didn't necessarily want to be outside, but there comes a time when even the most patient Mom needs a break and sends all the kids outside. Little did you know that it was no ordinary day. That day would turn out to be the worst window-breaking day in history.
The day started out innocently enough, with you and a few friends outside of a vacant building. For a kid, there's nothing quite like a vacant building. The simple pleasure of throwing rocks against the brick wall of a vacant building is something that everyone should experience. Then, it happened; your aim was just a bit off and you broke a window. The funny thing was, even though you knew the building had been deserted for years, you still ran like mad when you heard the sound of glass breaking.
Then, there was the BB gun incident. You were so intent on your game of cops and robbers that you forgot all about the window! Your friend ducked and your well-aimed shot was suddenly heading the wrong way. A BB breaking a window is a strange sound. Rather than the sound of shattering glass, there is a plink followed immediately by the thwack of the BB hitting the solar blinds. With a little luck, a BB sized hole in the window can go unnoticed for a few days or even weeks, giving you the chance to have plausible deniability.
After breaking two windows in one day, you, like any kid would, decided to go back inside for the rest of the day. The problem with staying inside on a beautiful summer day is that it is always tempting to do outdoor activities. That's how you ended up playing baseball in the house with your kid sister. To this day, you can still see it happening in slow motion. You remember finding out that your sister had a surprisingly good arm for a girl. Unfortunately, in your surprise and shock at getting struck out, you accidentally let the bat slip from your hands. The ball went through one window; your bat through another.
The worst window-breaking day in history was finally over. You had to mow lawns for the rest of summer to pay for new windows and blinds, but the experience was worth it. After all, who else can say that they were the child who broke four windows?